WHAT WE PERCEIVE WE CREATE

REALITY is REALITY.  Facts, evidence, and valid data define reality.  Our interpretation of reality is sometimes tainted by our perceptions.   Perception is defined as “a way of regarding, understanding, or interpreting something”.  Our “understanding” about how life “should” unfold is grounded in our beliefs, values, and history.  Our present moment decisions are infused with assumptions, expectations, and past experiences that are projected on the anticipated future.  We believe that if we make the “right” choices now, then we will attain what we desire at some designated distant time.  Sometimes life works out as we expected and sometimes it does not—again, facing reality.  How we respond to disappointments and successes speaks to our self-awareness, maturity, and assessment of reality.  We project our perceptions onto reality.

A young man in his 30s attending my class had been married for five years and lost his young wife to cancer.  Since her death he had spent several years wrapped in unfathomable grief and guilt.  Moving forward to achieve his dreams felt selfish and dishonoring her life.  He searched for answers to ease his pain but was trapped by self-blame.  I reminded him that sometimes there is no explanation or justification for a devastating experience.  Our unending search to unanswerable questions can torment us and keep us blocked from living purposefully.  For whatever reason, this message resonated with him.  After the class finished, he shared with me that he was returning to graduate school to become a marine biologist—his lifelong dream.  The lesson for me was when there are no logical answers to life’s challenges, learning to accept reality and our feelings may be healing.   Remember, our perceptions can create a “reality” that is not the truth.

Question:  What perceptions do you have that may be holding you back?

MILLIONAIRE CAREERS

If you want to be a millionaire, be aware of your perceptions!  Mark Albion, in his book Making a Life, Making a Living, described a 20 year study that tracked 1,500 business students.  The participants were placed into two groups: Group A included 1,245 money motivated students who elected to delay their dream careers to pursue professions that “assured” them a secure financial future.  The 255 students in Group B followed careers that matched their true interests first and believed that the money would follow.  At the end of the study there were 101 millionaires.  Group B, the smaller true interest group, produced 100 millionaires.  Group A, the money motivated students produced only 1 millionaire!  This statistical improbability should make us pause and evaluate our perceptions about pursuing our passions.

The perception of the ‘money motivated’ students was to sacrifice pursuing their desirable career initially, with the intention they could do what they wanted later.  This group determined if they “checked-off” logical boxes for attaining financial wellbeing they would unquestioningly achieve wealth.  The ‘true interest’ group was motivated by something deeper within them.  They trusted their instincts to pursue vocations that aligned with their talents.  There are so many lessons from this study:  1) Assumptions we base decisions upon, 2) Beliefs that underlie our decisions, and 3) Denial of our invisible inner guidance.  So many times, we override our intuitive instincts and neglect the advice of our hearts.  All of us have made “logical” decisions based on what others thought was appropriate and rational, only to later discover that we should have listened to our inner voice and trusted that everything would work out.  I encourage you to direct your passions into your dreams.  Your preconceived notions about who you are and what you can achieve will either limit you or guide you to your truest and best self.  Loving what you do, is not work—it is your gift to the world.

Question:  What dream have you postponed?

SURVIVE OR THRIVE

One factor that diminishes positive perceptions about ourselves is self-limiting beliefs.  We project our deepest unconscious sense of worthiness into everything we do.  Any belief that minimizes our value, weakens our relationships, or diminishes our risk-taking capacities is a restrictive perception.   These perceptions keep us stuck in survivor mode.  We unknowingly seek ways that make life harder, and we focus on struggles and obstacles.  This mindset believes that life is difficult therefore only extraordinary effort, stress, and self-denial will achieve goals.   Is that all you want–to survive?  Don’t you deserve to THRIVE?

Engaging in life with gusto and a pulsating vitality is healthier and more fun.  When we realize that we are the authors of our stories, we can develop the skills to participate in life more completely.  Change the stories you share, and you will dramatically transform your life from surviving to THRIVING.

I once worked with a successful professional who had an unrealistic belief that he was responsible for everything and if he worked hard enough, he could solve all issues.  Needless to say, his personal life suffered. He worked constantly while he was with his family—answering texts and responding to emails while having dinner.  His career ranked first in his life.  He was not aware that the underlying motivation was to prove his worth.  He connected success with sacrifice.  With this self-imposed philosophy, his significance was gained by working harder, not smarter.  This belief was compounded in that he assumed his willpower would overcome any obstacle.   After working together for few months, he began to evaluate his motivations and assessing the consequences of his assumptions.  He made changes in his life—running a 5K race, having uninterrupted dinners with his family, and questioning unrealistic work assignments.   What he discovered was by changing his perceptions he created new behavior patterns and he was more productive, happier, and healthier.

Question:  What perceived limitations are impacting your life?

CHANGING OUR PERCEPTIONS

According to Milhaly Csikszentmlalyi in his book FLOW, he states that our brain can handle approximately two million pieces of information per second, but we can only process 134 bits of data per second.   Our brain’s limited capacity to process data provides opportunities to mindfully direct our attention.  Research reveals that what we focus on expands.  We have a choice with every thought—positive, negative, fearful, or loving—to create a new reality.  Think about what you want to reinforce and practice changing your mind.

Our perceptions permeate every aspect of our lives leading to our decisions and ultimately creating our destinies.  Frequently asking yourself “Will this decision bring me to the destiny I want?” or “What legacy am I creating with this choice?”  or “Am I focusing on crucial factors that serve my goals?”

1. A few strategies to help guide your journey on changing your perceptions include:
2. Practice being fully present and mindful to what is going on around you in the moment
3. Observe your language and the stories you share—do “victim or victor” scenarios emerge
4. Reflect on your values, beliefs, attitudes, and past experiences then determine what serves you
5. Increase awareness of your thinking—what monopolizes your thoughts (past or future/good or bad)
6. Show up authentically without apologizing for your flaws
7. Create new “thriving” narratives about your life—successes, passions, and talents
8. Generate optimistic intentions—silently practice creating a positive purpose during every encounter
9. Celebrate the gift of your life through gratitude

Question:  How can I change my perceptions to change my life?