WHAT IS YOUR TRUTH? 

What does it mean to Speak Your Truth?  Truth telling is the practice of honestly expressing our ideas, opinions, and making direct requests with the expectation that we will be acknowledged.  The desire to be known, appreciated, and included are universal relationship bonds.  The human motivator of being significant influences how we express ourselves.  Our fundamental need to be accepted may taint our truth telling and limit our honesty.  Reflect on how you may conceal your rightful feelings or disguise sincere beliefs.

Shakespeare said, “To thine own self be true.”  What does it mean to be true to yourself?  Acknowledging our feelings and expressing our unique gifts are ways to be true to ourselves.  When I ask clients to describe their strengths, often they begin with identifying their weaknesses.  I will gently guide them back to the original question of their strengths and frequently silence permeates the room.  They pause because most of us scarcely spend any time reflecting on our positive value.  The drive for constant improvement requires us to focus on what is wrong or what needs to be “fixed”.  I remind clients that you “fix” things, not people. Seek to appreciate your unique strengths and talents, then express your heartfelt truth.

Question:  What are your strengths?

SELF-INQUIRY LEADS TO SELF-DISCOVERY WHICH LEADS TO YOUR TRUTH

Self-inquiry and confidence are interconnected companions on the journey to discovering our truth.  Through self-reflection we gain deeper personal insights that help us value ourselves and build confidence. When we are confident, we authentically express our needs, wants, and desires. Saying “yes” to our uniqueness launches the honest quest for self-acceptance and disclosure.  The invitation to appreciate our true essence gently silences our inner critic and gives way to our most treasured self.

The process of self-inquiry encompasses taking inventory of values, beliefs, passions, and actions.

Reflect on the following questions of self-inquiry to uncover your deepest truth.

Values:  What are my deepest held values?  What drives my life decisions?  What would I sacrifice?

Beliefs:  What do I believe in?  What are my operating principles?  What do I know about myself?

Passions:  What inspires my creativity?  What awakes my compassion?  What stirs my anger? What is my success?

Actions:  What actions have I taken that have changed my life?  What future actions do I want to take?

The greatest and most defining question of all is “How do I love?”

Question:  What do I love without question? 

THE TRUTH TAKES COURAGE

Self-inquiry and confidence are the foundational components of speaking your truth.  Another cornerstone of truth telling is courage.  Courage to stand up to a critic or make a different choice than what others wanted for us can be challenging.  Our beliefs about how we should react during difficult situations influences our actions.  Most of us will sacrifice expressing our truth out of concern for hurting others or fear of rejection.  The dread of being negatively judged strikes at our vulnerable core so we silence our inner power.   Expressing our ‘truth’ requires courage to claim our true worth and confidently give voice to our authentic self.

When I decided to go to college, my parents did not want me to pursue higher education as they thought I was being selfish.  After informing my counselor about my parents’ concerns, he shared with me that sometimes self-care can be confused with selfishness.  He eloquently acknowledged that in the short run an action may be perceived as selfish, but when the greater impact is assessed it can truly be an act of self-care.  At times, we label ourselves as selfish and limit our possibilities.  If we paused and reflected on future results of our decisions, we would realize that taking care of ourselves may not be selfish but beneficial to many people.

Question:  When have I had the courage to standup in a difficult situation?

TRUTH ABOUT SAYING “NO”

Difficulty saying “no” is frequently a stumbling block to speaking our truth.  I have observed many successful people challenged by honestly responding “no” to a request.  Instead they sacrifice their plans, reputation, and relationships to avoid real or perceived consequences to saying “no”.   Choosing to not investigate, question, or negotiate alternatives is driven by multiple factors.  A few motivators include the desire to maintain a reputation as the dependable ‘go to person’, or not disappointing others, or difficulty challenging authority, or purely the fear of being negatively judged.  We become trapped in the burden of ‘yes’ resulting in wasted energy and time.

Self-honesty is the key to unlocking our truth and negotiating mutually beneficial outcomes.  Self-honesty requires assessing reality and asking if there are alternative options.  Shifting from fear of rejection to objective facts paves the way for productive dialogue.   A simple technique to delay the automatic “yes” reply is to acknowledge the request, then state “let me get back to you”.  This strategy allows time to evaluate options and navigate desired results.  Keep in mind that most agreements are negotiable.   Saying “no” sometimes is a gift.  We can save time, resources, and heartache with a direct “no” versus trying to be nice by postponing our inevitable “no”.

Speak your truth—it benefits everyone.

Question:  How will saying “no” change your life?